It seems that sometimes, at least in the secular world, though even in the confused Christian world, there is the notion that a biblical husband is not really someone you would want. It’s something maybe you should have, but not really someone you would want. There’s the notion that he would be domineering and lordly, insensitive but providing, etc. Maybe you’ve felt this way, maybe you haven’t, but regardless, check out this list of attributes of a biblical husband and see what you think. It is a brief, non-comprehensive, New Testament study of overt husband-oriented passages. You could do SO much more in studying what it means to be a husband. But this is a good start. =) (By the way, men, we can do this.)
The Biblical Husband:
-He Loves (agape) His wife as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her (Eph 5:25). (If you only understood the word agape this would in and of itself overwhelm any woman (or man).)
-He loves her to sanctify her. His aim is for her to know Jesus perfectly and more, to be like the One they both love. He gives himself up for her that she might be sanctified; he has great passion and self-sacrificing willingness behind his desire and acts to sanctify her and yet he loves her unconditionally, taking great delight in her regardless of anything in constant openness, hope, trust, and self-giving [agape] (Eph. 5:26a).(The extent of passion, intention, and desire behind the desire to sanctify is suggested by the fact that it says 'he loved her and gave himself for her, that she might be sanctified'.) (The fact that he loves her ἵνα (in order that) she might be sanctified, shows that the aim of this love, at least in part, is not only just to exist, but in order to bring her closer to Jesus. With Christ and with a human husband, it is important to know that sanctification leads to greater intimacy, so that love can flow more fully and beautifully.)
-He washes her with the water of the word. He pours the life of the Holy Spirit onto her, the essence of the Word. He aims to fill her with the truth of the Word of God. He seeks to bring even greater beauty to her frame by washing her with truth regularly. (When you read this verse it is important to know that 'the word' did not mean to them what it means to us now. It meant more profoundly the truth of God, the essence of Who He is. Jesus was called the Word, which was an already established reality of the OT that involved the wisdom/truth/character/ways of God.) (Eph. 5:26b)
-His aim is to present her to Christ in splendor, holy and without blemish (Eph. 5:27)
-(Potential) He also aims to present her to himself in splendor, without spot or blemish (Eph. 5:27).
-He loves his wife as himself, as his own body (Jesus does this!) (Eph 5:33, 28).
-He nourishes her and cherishes her (Eph. 5:29).
-He is not harsh with her. (Col 3:19).
-The best husband has only one wife (1 Ti. 3:2, 3:12, Titus 1:6)
-He dwells with His wife in understanding. He understands her and lives with her in this understanding (1 Pet 3:7).
-He honors her (1 Pet 3:7).
-His understanding of her and his honoring of her, at least in part, come from an understanding that she is an heir of the grace of life with him (1 Pet 3:7).
-He is able to talk to His wife about theological issues and would do so willingly if she had any questions (1 Cor. 14:35).
-He knows he does not have authority over his own body, but that his body belongs to his wife. He does not treat his body as his own and therefore does not deny his wife access to it, except by agreement for a limited time for the purpose of relationship with God (1 Cor 7:3-5).
-His 'justness' causes him to be unwilling to put her to shame (Mat 1:19, about Joseph).